I’ve been having several conversations lately that are ending in tears. Clients and friends alike. It seems the green-eyed monster is still causing havoc in lives.
Whether you refer to it as your personal streak of jealousy, your spate of frustration over not having or being enough or just that ’damn green-eyed monster,’ I’d like to share with you a few ways to banish it temporarily from your life.
(Sorry, there are no known ways to eliminate it permanently. After all, we are frail humans!)
Let me give you three examples.
I have been buried in the salt mines for what feels like an eternity. This is my polite way of saying, I am focusing on the launch of my new podcast – to the detriment of everything else I could do. So, when I come up for air and look around, I see every other colleague moving mountains. In public. To great fanfare, delight, and of course, reward. Naturally, no one greets me with fanfare, delight and reward because I haven’t yet earned the right to claim it. This annoys me because I think that everyone and everything has passed me by.
One of my clients is battling her demons because her great plans are not coming to fruition as fast as she wanted. Her cash flow is not where she thought it would be at this point; she is struggling to figure out ways to bring in more superfast and, like all of us, can’t seem to see the forest through the trees (when it comes to our own affairs). Do I need to share she is feeling like a colossal failure?
And then there is my friend struggling to gain traction with her business ideas in a new environment. She was super powerful just five years ago. And then some personal stuff interfered, and then COVID slowed everything, and, and, and. She has yet to find a way to get a solid toe hold into her existing environment, so her business traction is slower than molasses. So naturally, her frustration about not being enough is reaching near epic levels.
Here is what I have learned.
1 There is always a covenant in place.
2 We need to keep taking bold steps forward.
3 Trust and faith are our best friends.
In each of these real examples (and perhaps yours), it is so easy to look at others with envy. Even when we do not understand what their journey to get there is or has been. So likewise, it is far too easy to look at ourselves and decide we don’t measure up; we lack something or fail.
Nothing could be further from the Truth!
1 No matter what we set our sights on or when we begin, we make a covenant or a sacred vow to ourselves and the world that we are going for it. That covenant or sacred vow is based on Truth. Not OUR Truth, and indeed not always our wishes and dreams. It is not solely about our agenda.
It includes not only the agendas of those we come in contact with, but it also consists of those who have a ripple effect on us. So, it will never be an easy or smooth journey for any of us. Emphasis is on any of us. Not one of us gets off scot-free.
2 When we succumb to feelings of less worth and failure, what we are doing is marching in place. We are not moving anywhere; we merely stir up dust. To get to the other side, we must continue to take bold steps forward. Fearlessly continue. And recognize that our actions are entirely different from everyone else’s.
3 Trust and faith are probably the two most challenging emotions – especially for those of us not influenced by religious dogma. Spirituality can help because it fills in the blanks with wisdom from a higher power or the god of our understanding. Whatever higher power you believe in, lean into — hard.
We must look at ourselves and our lives and ask, ‘Have I not gotten this far on trust and faith? So, what exactly has changed that I can’t continue to have such trust and faith that it WILL work out?’ Then give yourself a hug and rally forward.
Looking right in the eye of the damned green-eyed monster and being very honest with myself about these three questions has allowed me to find my center again and move forward.
I hope it does the same for you!