How to Beat Back Your Fear

One of the things I do is help people overcome their fears and get on with their lives.  Fear is incessant; it makes us lazy and robs us of so much.  EXCEPT, I can’t use negative words; I use phrases like, I can help you have the life you always wanted, surpass all your dreams, climb every mountain. Stuff that empowers, feels positive, lifts the client up. You get it. The message is the medium.

The truth is what I do for a living is show people how to beat back their fear and get on with their lives. It is an action oriented methodology that works.

Understand that I am not talking about fighting the inner demons and conflicts that might be present deep inside the recesses of the brain. I am talking about helping people deal with and accomplish their regular dreams of ‘I want to be a better, bigger, winner, more wonderful, higher achieving, saner, less aggressive, more powerful, version of myself.’

Let me tell you the dirty little secret about the field I play in. The advice is already scattered all over the internet. From Ted talks to presentations to outrageous subscription fee websites to free ebooks, anyone can find the words of wisdom. From any country in any language going back fifty years. Search. If you have time.

From the full blown original text with all the complete in-depth knowledge to the ridiculous five minute sound bites to the common memes and gifs that are sprinkled on social media posts.

The basic advice has not changed in fifty years. What has changed is customer’s attention span and the humungous number of charlatans who have jumped on the personal coaching band wagon.

Let me share with you some of the truths about our fear. We were not born with fear; we learned it. It takes a long while to unlearn it. So the best way to deal with it is to beat it back. There are only two practical ways I am aware of to beat fear back.

There are only two practical ways I am aware of to beat fear back.

Add time to your life and add stuff to your brain. Neither one of these are easy.

Add time to your life
1. Remove all the distractions from your life. Seriously review how much TIME you spend watching TV, read/typing/playing on social media, texting, and emailing. Do you REALLY need to do it all that much? Really?
2. Remove all the excuses from your life. Seriously review how much TIME you spend complaining, whining, rehashing, reframing, making excuses for all the problems in your life. Who screwed you, what they did, why they did it, why it is always someone else? Do you REALLY need to explain ad nauseum to every single person all that much? Really?

Now that you have freed up a bunch of time in your day, how do you feel? Empty right? Okay. Let’s add something.

Add stuff to your brain
1. Pick your battles. Say you want to be the best damn chef in the world. So you and I develop a plan for the next five years to get you to first be the best damn chef in the country. We focus on all the activities you need to do, the amount of time you need to devote, where you need to go, who you need to meet, etc. etc. As part of that plan, you simply do not have time to be part of the save the whales, grow the green energy movement and support the local political party. Instead, you allow other interested folks to pick their battles to save the whales, etc. while you go be the best damn chef in the world. See how you have a clear divide and conquer mentality? You picked the most important battle you will fight.
2. Feed your brain. Because you have freed up a few hours in your day from all the time wasters, use that quality time and listen to educational CDs about your particular battle. Do selective listening/watching so that you can WIN your fight.

I did not say beating back your fear would be easy. I merely said it could be done. I KNOW it can be done. I personally have done it all my life. I have helped many people do it successfully.

If I have not yet convinced you, let me leave you with a few observations.

  1. One day you will regret the amount of time you spend on social media. It is a worse time suck than TV has ever been.
  2. Your problems are not the problem. Your reactions are. Learn good reactions.
  3. The absolute worst thing any one of us can EVER do is to AVOID taking a risk. The consequence of never taking a risk is a bad life lived.
  4. 98% of everyone simply don’t care about you and what you do. Realize how much freedom that gives you.
  5. Blaming makes you weaker. Therefore, accept responsibility for everything and be the strong one.
  6. Have enough money for what matters. When did a luxury lifestyle smothered in debt become more meaningful than just a happy, humble, homestead?

The other day an old colleague sent me a note about humility. That is how I will end this blog about fighting back fear. Humility is not thinking less of yourself. Humility is thinking of yourself less.

And that is one of the biggest ways to beat back fear. Think less about you, AND more about your goal.

Contact us and let’s see how we can serve you!

To your success!

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