Over the last few months, I have met more women entering or in the middle of caregiving for their parents. (Typically their moms.) The reactions, emotions, and guilt levels are pretty much the same for most. I try to give a shoulder or an ear. Everything I say generally comes back to something based on looking after my own mom.
Personal caregiving is the most precious gift we can give another human. Absolutely nothing compares to the tenderness, the genuine compassion and the complete understanding both parties can have. And yes, the ultimate realization — that we all need one another. Yet, as important as the other person is in your life, the caregiver must take 15 minutes a day and give themselves some love because caregivers deserve attention just as much as their loved ones.
I know what I say is gold. Because it is my one and biggest regret. I did not give to myself when my mom was so ill. Over the last five years of her life, I preferred to sit on my martyr post and proclaim I was strong. Until the day I had to admit I wasn’t. And when Mom died, I was a shell of the girl she had raised.
The other day, after a conversation with a high-powered woman in the UK, in which we talked about her upcoming caregiving journey AND how we could execute my wild and crazy business idea, I was struck with the strangest thought, ”Thank you, Mom. Even in death, you are still influencing others. Even in death, your lessons prevail.”
We all get them. We all give them. But do we take the time to appreciate them?
After my minor medical miracle, it took me five years to get my head straight. From the outside, it looked like I had my stuff together. But I did not — I was faking it because I did not want anyone to see me differently. I wanted everyone to believe that I was stronger than I was. And if they believed, I thought I could too.
In my twisted thinking, I needed to cover up the fear, shame and guilt I carried for not bouncing back quickly, for having to move away from the big city and for not having a plan for every piece of my life. It doesn’t feel great to fall ungraciously or unladylike from the top of a mountain (Truthfully, it was a tiny hill.)
It always hurts to have to rebuild again. And it is agonizing to keep a bright smile when you believe life will never get better. The anxiety never ends, the fears never dissipate, and many times you angrily shout to no one, “What the hell did I do wrong?”
Standing on the other side, I am stronger and way more confident than before I started. I am also calm, serene and shining brightly with a different attitude about success, defeat and soldiering forward. My head is high, my heart is open, and my life, future, and world are brighter than ever.
When I look around at the professional landscape and the entrepreneur and business world, I see much of the frustration, anxiety, fear and guilt I had just a few years ago. The impact of COVID, the war in Ukraine, the unstable supply chain and the fragile economy has done a real number to those traditionally viewed as very strong. And it pains me to see decent people so tortured, lacklustre, and unable to get out of the quagmire. I can help. Because I did it myself.
Today I want to share how I have repackaged a massive chunk of the lessons I learned and offer you the opportunity to join me in an exclusive private community. As a result, I can show you easy, simple, painless and nearly effortless ways to bring back the shine in your life.
You know it is rare for me to peddle anything in my post and truthfully I flip-flopped about sharing this with you. But ultimately, I am creating something powerful and extremely useful for many. And I can’t NOT share it with you.
Please click this link to my TAD Better Club. All the details are in there.
I’d consider it an honour to show you how to shine up your life with my hard-earned wisdom.